Is it time for relationship counseling?
Marriage is an exciting and wonderful chapter in your life. At the same time, it comes with its share of challenges. There is never a wrong time for relationship counseling—you can use it as a tune up to refine the little bugs in your marriage, or to help you and your spouse get over big hurdles. The catch is, little problems here and there (you may not even notice them!) eventually add up to some major problems in your relationship. It’s better to get them in check early!
Here are the top 4 conflict-resolution styles to watch out for in your marriage. If you notice you or your spouse doing these regularly, it’s time to learn some new skills or consider marriage counseling.
Perhaps you deal with conflict situations by giving in. The fight just doesn’t seem worth it, and you feel it’s always better to just yield to whatever your spouse wants. This might work to avoid conflict in the moment, and at the same time, it leads to marriage problems like depression and resentment. Relationship counseling can teach you ways to make decisions that accommodate both of your needs and wants, without leaving anybody short!
Other times, a situation seems so unpleasant that you might just try to avoid it. You put off having sensitive conversations and making difficult decisions. This pattern of freezing communication builds icy walls of stress and tension and leads to marriage problems like anxiety and emotional distance. Plus, you never get the issue resolved, and it will go on provoking anxiety and eating away at your relationship.
Many couples consider getting help because they fight too much. Fighting has deeper consequences than just loud and unpleasant disagreements. Arguing, resisting and pushing your ideas can result in ill will and excessive anger in your marriage that last between moments of conflict. It can even turn into controlling behaviors and verbal or physical abuse. In addition, fighting usually means that one partner will end up yielding and, as mentioned above, yielding leads to depression.
Some people turn away from unpleasant situations and instead invest their time and energy in areas outside their marriage. Constantly avoiding the problem will create alienation. It also often leads to escape in harmful activities such as infidelity and addictions such as alcohol abuse, or porn, compulsive spending or workaholic tendencies.
5. And, lastly, what about this one?
Do you talk things through, respecting each other’s opinions, and make mutually satisfying win-win plans together? Do you feel closer after coming to decisions? That’s what good communication in relationships should look like. This is the Power of Two way of handling disagreements.